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    August 05

    变身了,蜕化了

         为什么会发展成这样,是不是每个男人都会走到这一步。我要买房了,基本是30年还贷计划,想想现在24,三十年后小孩可能已经也24了,我还是一个很传统的中国男人,不喜欢欠着别人的过日子,无论是钱还是情。
        
         有人也劝过我,10年前谁敢贷款10万,现在永远看不到未来的路。
        
         我很羡慕很多人,身边的人,他们或者幸福美满,或者事业有成,或者易于满足;我,现在什么也不是,孤寂一人,工作惨淡,还永不满足,我真希望永不长大,永远在大人的羽翼下过着无风无雨的生活,可是不可能,路要越走越远,而我现在也是一个大人了,得独自面对汪洋大海,我希望自己是飞翔的鸟,现在也必须在狂风中翱翔,在骤雨中拼搏,似乎印证了一句话“世上有一种鸟,它不能停歇,它生命中只能落一次地,那就是它死去的时候。”
     
         从昨天开始我觉得有点颓废,有很多的话,又有太多的压力,同样我感到了家里父母的压力,觉得自己真的很没有用。我甚至不敢想到未来,昨天晚上去迪厅去放松,在眩目的灯光下,在酒精的麻痹下依旧不能忘怀,同时在环境的催化下产生了“自古多情空余恨,此恨绵绵无绝期”的异样情愫,带着失落的心情回来了,我不会再一次又一次的遐想,所以我蜕变了。
     
         最后我希望父母身体健康,我已经大了,其他的事情让我来分担,让我来扛。

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    David Zhangwrote:
     大哥~什么叫幸福?我饿的时候,看到人家有馒头吃,他就比我幸福!我冷的时候,看到人家有棉衣穿,他就比我幸福!我没房的时候,人家有房,他也比我幸福!呵呵~
    Aug. 11

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